Using Technology to Keep the Peace

There really is an app for everything.

California has been a No-Fault divorce state for about 50 years.  Nevada had been known as the divorce capital of the United States since the early 1900s, but California was the first to pass No-Fault divorce legislation.  With the passing of No-fault divorce in New York in 2010, all 50 states are now, for the most part, No-fault divorce states.

One of the main benefits of No-fault was to lower the temperature of the divorce process, make the process less expensive, less emotionally draining, and allow spouses to maintain some level of relationship so they can continue to be co-parents to their minor children.

No-fault divorces also took away the ability of a spouse to use the accusation of adultery, cruelty or abuse as a negotiating tactic, which could be embarrassing, especially if a spouse is a public figure, which in California is a distinct possibility.

No-fault attempts to keep the process civil and protect the children from additional stress or embarrassment which could come with parents being divorced.

A common theme in divorce is to do whatever is in the best interest of the children.  Even after a divorce, parents of minor children still have to work together to raise the children.

Anything you can do to keep communications open with your ex-spouse and remain civil is helpful.  With cell phones and mobile technology being so ubiquitous, it is no surprise there are apps that can help you manage your post-divorce life.

Co-Parenting apps range in functionality.  Some apps are fairly simple shared calendars spouses can use to keep track of parenting time days, pick-ups, drop-off, and any events or activities that each parent is going to be attending or responsible for.

Other apps go deeper and are specifically designed for divorced co-parents.  An app like WeParent or Talking Parents help you to not only manage schedules, but also shared documents, appointments, expenses, and custody, or Parenting time schedules.  There is also a messaging function to help keep the lines of communication open.

Keeping lines of communications open is really only half of the challenge.  The other half is to keep communication civil.  An addon to an app called OurFamilyWizard includes a Tone Meter, which like a spellchecker on your computer will monitor your tone in messages being sent and warn you if the tone is confrontational or can possibly lead to an argument.  This app also allows each parent to add accounts to other people who they would require assistance from, such as grandparents or even mediators or therapists.

Not every divorce ends with parents being able to work together.  Every case is unique and every case has its own details that need to be taken into consideration.  However, when spouses are able to make the transition to co-parents, it is helpful to be able to use current technology to make everyone’s life that much easier.  The internet is for more than cat videos and Bernie Sanders memes.

Use the internet how it was designed to be used: to make communication easier, open, and stress-free.