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TDC FAMILY LAW BLOG

Keeping Friends and Family Out of Your Divorce 

3/17/2017

1 Comment

 
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Going through a divorce can be an incredibly personal and emotional time in your life not only for you but also for your friends and family. The closest people in your life will naturally want to be there for you during this time but having them around will not always be the most healthy situation. Therefore, it is important to establish clear and healthy boundaries for your relationships with friends and family as you progress through your divorce. While they may not completely understand your reasons, in the end your decision to keep your friends and family out of your divorce will help you, your spouse, your children, your friends and family, and your future relationships to be healthier and happier.
 
You and Your Spouse
 
Your divorce is first and foremost about you and your spouse. Friends and family, while well intentioned, do not need to be privy to every challenge you are facing. Divorce means having to hash out every part of your marriage and having other people weighing in, even when they think they are helping, can hurt negotiations with unwarranted opinions. Divorce proceedings need clear heads, and a friend or family member who is strongly biased in your favor can influence your opinion in a negative manner and cause unnecessary conflict. Even if they mean well, unfounded advice from someone who isn’t directly aware of all of the circumstances may cause more harm than good to you and your spouse and potentially needlessly increase your attorney fees and costs, including having to pay for your spouse’s fees and costs.
 
Friends and Family
 
Your friends and family will also be affected personally by their involvement in your divorce. If they are friends with you and not your spouse, they are likely to resent your spouse based on their one-sided opinion. Likewise, your spouse’s friends may come to resent you for the same reasons. If allowed to fester, these resentments may turn into a dislike strong enough to affect your opinion and cause even more strife to color your divorce. In addition, married couples often share friends. These are often other married couples and by involving them in your divorce it can cause rifts between them as they watch their friends struggle to separate their lives. They may not realize it, but getting too close to your divorce may bring up issues in their own relationships that could hurt them in the long run.
 
Your Relationships
 
Finally, involving your friends and family in your divorce can affect your relationships with them in the future. In the moment, divorce my impact your relationships negatively by creating rifts between you and your friends who find themselves in an awkward situation. They may feel the need to provide advice, be fiercely protective of you, or take your spouse’s side against you. All of these situations can lead to resentment, which, when left to fester, can have serious repercussions on your relationships. Even when your friends and family want to be there for you during your divorce, setting clear boundaries on their involvement is best for all involved. Let your friends and family know how they can help you during this time and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Don’t over involve them, but don’t ignore your relationships altogether during your divorce. Take time to be intentional with your friends and family throughout the process and you’ll all be thankful for it later.
1 Comment
Divorce Lawyers link
6/7/2018 12:40:44 am

It is true divorce is never easy it can affect not only you and your spouse but also your child, parents and friends. Divorce is a painful, difficult experience that often has shattering effects on people's emotions, finances, and familial relationships. Divorce my impact your relationships negatively.

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  • Home
  • PRACTICE AREAS
    • Divorce
    • Spousal Support
    • Child Support
    • Child Custody
    • Visitation
    • Complex High Asset Divorce
    • Contempt of Court
    • Paternity
    • Mediation Coaching
    • Alternative Dispute Resolution - Mediation and Collaborative Divorce
    • Parenting Coordination
  • Bio
    • Certified Family Law Specialist
    • What to Expect
  • Blog
  • FAQ
    • What does the area of Family Law cover?
    • Things To Do After a Divorce is Finalized
    • Annulment
    • Attorney Fee Awards in California
    • Community Property
    • Difference Between Guardianship and Adoption
    • Difference Between Marriage and Domestic Partnership
    • Difference Between Physical and Legal Custody
    • Divorce Process in California
    • Domestic Violence
    • Go to Court for Spousal or Child Support
    • Legal Grounds for Divorce in California
    • “Move Away” After Divorce
    • No Fault Divorce
    • Parenting Plan
    • Residency Requirements for a Divorce in California
    • Summary Dissolution
    • Supervised Visitation
    • The impact of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) of 2017 on Divorce
    • What does it mean to have a fiduciary relationship to your spouse?
  • Resources
  • Contact