Surviving Valentine’s Day After Divorce

According to every major media outlet in existence today, Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate love and happiness for couples everywhere…which means, those who have UN-coupled, whether by divorce or legal separation, may be left feeling a bit lonely and adrift. 

However, depending upon how you choose to approach the holiday, you can use February 14th as an opportunity to celebrate your new life and a new opportunity to be as happy as you deserve.

The first thing you need to realize is that you are not alone. Without the constant barrage of jewelry commercials and chocolate ads telling you that EVERYONE EVERYWHERE is in love, you must realize that there are millions of people on this earth in the exact same position that you find yourself in.  This means you are in good company! 

Also, think about all those friends and family members you have lost touch with during your marriage.  Reaching out to those loved ones you want to reconnect with provides more than just a balm to your loneliness, but also a chance to build yourself a nice support system going forward as a single person.  Going to a party, seeing a movie, or even just meeting for drinks with some friends are all great ways to fill the hours of that day, renew ties with old friends or build them with new ones , and establish yourself in the new social position you now find yourself in.

Maybe you don’t feel like being social, which is totally understandable.  You are still healing and need time to lick your wounds.  Never underestimate the value of self-care.  Man or woman, we can all stand to spend some time focused on the needs of the body, the mind, and the spirit.  Candles, bubble baths, a good book or even a tub of cookie dough ice cream can go a long way towards a feeling of comfort.    Send yourself a little something that you have been wanting…like that crockpot you didn’t get for Christmas or that autographed Game of Thrones figurine!

And if you have children, it can become the MOST fun to make them feel loved.  Making homemade Valentines with construction paper never loses it’s magic when assisted by copious amounts of glitter and metallic markers!  A couple of hours making cut out cookies with sprinkles is an easy way to make memories to remind you that there is more that one kind of love to be celebrated on Valentine’s Day!

At the end of the day, try to come to an understanding of what February 14th actually means to you.  Do you want to include others in your plans or would you rather focus on self reflection?  Whatever you choose, do things you love and treat yourself as you deserve to be treated.  With love.