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TDC FAMILY LAW BLOG

Take it Easy for the Holidays

12/26/2019

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One of the negative “side effects” of wanting to have a good holiday season is the pressure we put on ourselves to make those days live up to the idealized version we carry around in our heads from the past.  Keeping a few things in mind when planning the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s can ensure a better holiday for you and for any loved ones you may be responsible for.

We all want to bake the cookies, decorate the house, buy the perfect gifts, wrap them, meet your friends for Yuletide cheer, and prepare that magazine worthy holiday meal while hosting the entire family in a fashionable outfit.  Even with the usual amount of time between the holidays, this can be an impossible goal, but this year has almost a whole week less time to do it all!  Something has to give, and the sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can come to grips with what needs to be done.  

Think about what your demeanor is like when you stress about making these times perfect.  Can you possibly have fun or enjoy your time with loved ones if you are mentally calculating all the tasks you still must do before the clock runs out?  How much do you really need to put those lights up on the outside of your house, if you already have a lit and decorated tree inside to enjoy while snuggling with your family?  Honestly, if you think the kids would rather have the lights up than watch a holiday movie together with you, maybe you should pose the question directly to them!  Chances are pretty good that family time-where you are present and in the moment with them- is far preferable to impressing neighbors and passersby with your yearly inflatable snow globe on the front lawn.

The fact of the matter is the holidays (no matter which you celebrate) are about spending quality time with loved ones.  The cookies and eggnog are great, but they are just trappings of the season.  If you truly want to make the best memories for you and your loved ones, don’t put so much pressure on yourself and all those seemingly important tasks.  Instead of making ten different kinds of cookies because you always have before, pick a couple that are fun to make and decorate while listening to music of the season. 

Better yet, buy those premade logs to slice and bake while doing something else fun with your spouse or the kids or mom and dad!  Instead of wrapping everything the night before and making yourself (and everyone around you nuts), invite some friends over for a wine and wrapping party!  This will fit in those drinks you have been meaning to have with people you might not have time to see during this shortened season and get a necessary holiday task tackled in the most fun way possible.  In doing so, you get to relieve some tension, catch up, provide a venue for all invited to perform said task, and pool resources so you all aren’t forced to use the same old wrapping supplies for another year while not having to break the bank buying new stuff. 

The holidays have a reputation for being stressful and exhausting for a reason, but they really don’t have to be either if you keep one goal in mind -- enjoy yourself and the people you love.  Be present.  Don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t feel you need to prove anything to anyone.  The people that know and love you want you to be happy for Christmas, and while it is always nice to receive elegantly wrapped gifts or have a fancy meal prepared for you, gifts bags and take-out may allow you to take it a bit easier and give everyone what they want, including you.
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  • Home
  • PRACTICE AREAS
    • Divorce
    • Spousal Support
    • Child Support
    • Child Custody
    • Visitation
    • Complex High Asset Divorce
    • Contempt of Court
    • Paternity
    • Mediation Coaching
    • Alternative Dispute Resolution - Mediation and Collaborative Divorce
    • Parenting Coordination
  • Bio
    • Certified Family Law Specialist
    • What to Expect
  • Blog
  • FAQ
    • What does the area of Family Law cover?
    • Things To Do After a Divorce is Finalized
    • Annulment
    • Attorney Fee Awards in California
    • Community Property
    • Difference Between Guardianship and Adoption
    • Difference Between Marriage and Domestic Partnership
    • Difference Between Physical and Legal Custody
    • Divorce Process in California
    • Domestic Violence
    • Go to Court for Spousal or Child Support
    • Legal Grounds for Divorce in California
    • “Move Away” After Divorce
    • No Fault Divorce
    • Parenting Plan
    • Residency Requirements for a Divorce in California
    • Summary Dissolution
    • Supervised Visitation
    • The impact of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) of 2017 on Divorce
    • What does it mean to have a fiduciary relationship to your spouse?
  • Resources
  • Contact