As a Victim of Domestic Violence in California, I want a Divorce. What Should I Do?


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Abuse Comes in Many Forms

Abuse comes in many forms. An abuser will attack their victim physically, sexually, or emotionally. When a person is being abused, the torture comes in every possible way. For the abuser, it is all about exerting power over another person and breaking down their will.

People who are abused feel powerless to help themselves and might stay in a toxic relationship and even make excuses for staying and for their abuser.

Getting out of an abusive relationship can be a daunting and challenging thing, especially if you have children. There are things you need to do and account for before you tell your spouse and abuser that you want to leave and get a divorce. If you do not have a plan, the act of stating your intentions can cause your abuser to go into a rage.

You Must First Make a Safety Plan

Call 1-800-799-7233 (TDD: 1-800-787-3224) to find a domestic violence agency.

​The California Courts website has a lot of useful information on how to prepare a safety plan and what to do to get out of an abusive relationship. The web page includes information on Domestic Violence Shelters, restraining orders, what they can and cannot do, and other resources such as assistance programs, crisis hotlines, and counseling services.

Visit the California Courts Domestic Violence website here…


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San Jose, CA 95126

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